Given the choice, it's better to forgive than not. It's better to trust in the decency of humanity than not. It's better to love than not.
Maybe somebody doesn't fully deserve it. But if you choose to hold on to that bitterness and hurt then you'll be a worse person based on that choice. You'll be unhappy. You'll be dull.
So let go of all that. Choose to stay sweet and innocent and pure and lovely.

Reflections of the Divine

There are times when heaven feels close. Suddenly the mortal veil seems thinner, and divinity can be felt in the heart. These windows into the eternal coincide with evidences of majestic love. The human heart is opened to divinity through love.


Truly listening to a friend who comes with all their problems and insecurities opens the heart. Sitting still and absorbing the incomprehensible greatness of the universe also allows the heavens to descend. Comforting a child, serving those who stand in need, kisses, living an intentional life and anything else that is an expression of love can serve to make the heart more sensitive to divine sources.

God must not be reduced to something as simple as a feeling. He defies such simplification by his very being. But true love is a reflection of Him. Love is not simply a feeling. It is a beatific gift that is impossible to understand fully with mere human reason. Live with love, always.

Prayer

Meaningful prayer requires putting away the hurt of everyday life. It requires being willing to let down pride, fear, and any shields put up to protect from others. It requires being vulnerable. It requires letting the King of Kings into the heart, where he can change it. Sometimes that is tough. Speaking of pain is often harder than suffering alone. When it seems imopssible to even start trying to communicate the depths of pain in the heart it is most necessary to give that burden to the god who died to take upon him all the sins of the world. If words fail he will listen anyway. He will listen to the silent cries of the heart.
Trust him. Pray to him. He will always catch those who fall towards him.

Loss

Loss and pain are essential. Maybe when we lose somebody it's because we need to learn something. Maybe when that overpowering cloud of pain passes we'll find a world refreshed by the tears that fell. Maybe we'll come through this earth-shattering experience and find that we're okay. Maybe we need to break in order to become stronger. And maybe we just need to learn things from people and then let go when it's time.

Three Year Snapshot

My Personal Leadership class just ended. My final project was creating a three year snapshot, to picture what my life will be like in three years. I'm sharing it with you. Quick notes, though. First, I'm not sure if I am going to BYU, I just put that there because it is one option. Second, I do not have a boyfriend and don't intend to for a couple of years. :)

Anyway.

 An envelope sits on my desk, torn open with its contents lying next to it. I  just read my acceptance letter from BYU. This fall I’ll be leaving to go start my major in journalism. Soon enough I’ll call my family and my boyfriend, but for now I’m okay with just being by myself, letting this soak in. Back when I started high school, I really struggled. It seemed hard to believe that I would ever make it through. But I did. I made it because I worked hard and let go of what didn’t really matter. I came through stronger, more intelligent, and wiser.

 I stayed active in church even when it was hardest. When I wanted to give up I chose to have faith instead. I gave my all in my callings. I stayed consistent in learning. Heavenly Father blessed me in return, and I am so incredibly thankful for that.

 My family relationships are better, because I’ve learned how to truly love and serve those closest to me while still balancing the other areas of my life. I’m engaged in my family, and even those family members I never thought I could have healed relationships with are close now. My brothers, my sisters, my brother-in-law, and my parents are all so wonderful and I’m blessed to have them.

 I started working with various newspapers and blogs when I was sixteen years old, so I feel prepared for the rest of my future in journalism. I have kept up my blog almost religiously since I started it six years ago, and my writing has improved so much. It makes me laugh to see the quality of my older posts compared to my current ones.

 I also have a job in retail. It’s nothing fancy, but I truly enjoy working with the rest of the team and having a job like this allows me to still be involved with my writing and my mentoring. I have put together a team of other mentors, but I am still actively involved in teaching and administration. A close community has developed in my business. It’s almost like another family.

 My boyfriend has been so incredibly supportive. He respects and loves me. He helps out in all of my dreams and helps me believe that I can do this even when I doubt myself. He has his own dreams, too, and lets me help him. I love him. This is exactly what I’ve wanted for my whole life. I can see us building a future together.

 My sixteen year-old self had trouble believing that I could have a life this beautiful and full of love. But my nineteen year-old self is able to look back and realize that life is what I choose to make of it. And I chose to make something beautiful.

I have a few goals I wrote out for how to get here. Start working as a freelance writer. Build up Ninniachel Mentoring. Graduate high school. Stuff like that.
Where do you want to be in three years?

 

Spirituality

Spirituality is a very ambiguous term. Some think of it as inherently tied to their religion. Some think of it as some sort of weird drug rituals that funky smelling people with weird hair practice. Others use spirituality to condemn religion, claiming that you cannot be spiritual and religious at the same time, and that spirituality is an alternative to religion.
There are many, many definitions, because it is such a personal term. Really, all it means is "the quality or state of being spiritual" (Merriam-Webster Dictionary.) To me, spirituality is awareness, mindfulness, and presence.
Awareness of what surrounds you, what you are feeling inside, and higher powers is crucial to being truly in touch with your spirit. Look around you and just be aware of what is happening. Look within you and see what you are feeling and how you have been building yourself. Listen to what you feel about the divinity of God or the Universe or whatever it is you believe. (I personally believe in God, but the point of this post is not to preach my God to you.)
It is also important to be mindful in everything you do. When you play music, be mindful of the way notes come forth from the instruments as you touch them. When you eat food, be mindful of the journey that food has come through. When you are walking be mindful of the way your feet walk upon the earth.
The last part I consider in spirituality is presence. Be where you are. Don't be distracted and waste away worrying about your past or your future. Be fully alive and awake and embrace your life at this moment.
Be spiritual, however that works for you. When you feel drained spiritually, do something to renew yourself. Try yoga, or breathing affirmations. Try climbing a tree and just sitting there by yourself, bathing in the knowledge that you are. Try journaling. Try reading holy writ.
Be aware. Be mindful. Be present. Be happy.

What Do You Live For

What would you die for?
That question is asked fairly often, and it is worthwhile. But there are better questions to be asking.
I personally find it easy to believe I would die for something. My religion. My family. My friends. Social causes.
Death isn't frightening.
But what would you live for?
What would you devote every day for the rest of your life to? What are you willing to do even though it's tough and tedious and there is no end in sight? What are you willing to do even when there is no glory or recognition for it?
Ask yourself.
And then live for it.