Such Is Life

One of my friends in my Young Women group recently had her 18th birthday. My initial reaction when considering this was that being friends with Priests and Laurels really isn't wise, because soon they will leave and you will be left without them. Yes, this was silly, but I really considered it for a while until I realized that I am in fact a Laurel right now. Yep. I'm 16 years old and will be moving on pretty soon. So I have been thinking a lot about the nature of loving people. Most of what I have written here is addressed to youth, because I feel that adults have experienced so much of this already and know this. However, it should be useful for anybody. Here are some examples in which you love people and your heart breaks because of that:

1. Someday, you will meet somebody and your hearts will connect with each other. You'll kiss. You'll dance. You will talk about anything and everything, just to know each other and be with each other.You'll want to spend all your time together, because nobody else seems as important and life was given just to be with each other. Life will be passionate and beautiful.You'll be in love. You'll think that there is no way anything could ever get in the way, and you will plan on being together forever. And then this person will move way farther away than you can ever hope to follow. And then someday you will both probably find other people and have to admit that it just did not work out the way you had planned. But you will still remember him because there was such joy and such pain in having let him in your heart and then having him leave. There is no way you could forget that. You don't want to forget, and that makes it hurt even more. You know you have to forget, but why would you want to? This love opened you to so much passion and everything seemed so much more rosy knowing that you had each other, even when you did argue. He made life seem so much easier, and that is gone now. Sometime you will see clearly and realize that it was worth it.

2. You'll meet a friend who will seem to just click with you. Talking to each other will be easy, and you won't be afraid to actually have meaningful discussion. This friend will show you what 'kindred spirit' really means. If a thought pops up that maybe this won't last you will just laugh that thought away, because it seems impossible. But then you do drift apart. It isn't formal and you never talk about it, but sometimes you'll see each other at an event and not even speak to each other past civil greetings. You try not to think about it, but sometimes in the middle of the night when you can't sleep you will get to thinking about this friend  and quiet tears will stream down your face as you think about what you lost. It was a beautiful thing while it lasted, and you can't really blame the loss on anybody. People change and grow apart. It happens. While you needed this friend you had him, and now the need is gone so you can separate and try to remember that it was good.

3. Maybe you'll have a brother go on a mission. You are so, so proud of him for making this sacrifice and wouldn't have it any other way, but you miss him. Two years of being separated from this brother who was so close to you. Two years going without having him near to comfort you, protect you, take your side in every squabble, play with you, and just be there like he has for your whole life. Only letters and emails to substitute for his voice and his presence.There will be so many things that happen in your life as you emerge into adulthood. You might be gone to college, married, have a job, and be gone by the time he comes home. Nothing will be the same, because life doesn't pause just for a mission. The fact that he has dedicated himself to serving the Lord will help you as you go on though, because this love gives you something to be better through.

4. You'll have a dear friend who you have experienced your whole youth with and grown with in so many ways. You worked through new issues at the same time. You spent so much time with each other. You were there to support each other in everything and so excited to share everything together. And then she goes someplace you cannot follow, such as getting married. You are happy for her, of course. She's maturing and you admire her so much. But there's a heart ache as you realize that nothing can be quite the same anymore. She ran too fast and you couldn't keep up. She will be experiencing so much that you won't really be able to relate to anymore, although you will still love each other. Her friendship supported you through one of the hardest parts of your life, when you needed somebody who you knew would stay on the right track and expect you to do the same.

5. Your grandfather will die. This man who took care of you and loved you unconditionally for your whole life will suddenly be gone. You'll see his cold body and realize that never again in this life will he hold you and read to you. He changed your life by being such a caring, compassionate, talented man and now that's gone. But he has still changed your life for better, and you will remain transformed by having had him. You will miss him all the time, but you can smile through it.

Life will never stop giving you these heartaches. It's not going to happen, unless you completely isolate yourself and work on not loving anybody. But is that worth it? Do you want to lose the joy and beauty and magic of relationships just because of the sorrow that will come? I don't. I do not want to hide my heart away where it will never see the sun just because I'm afraid of the storm. Be open, please. Love everybody. Loving is a risk; that's the very nature of anything worth doing.

The Great Gatsby

The Great Gatsby is one of my very favorite books. I am not quite sure how to express what I feel about it, but there is something that just enters my heart and touches all of the sadness I hold there. Not in a bad way, though. In a way that helps me acknowledge that I am incomplete and gives me hope that I can be better.
In case you haven't read it yet, The Great Gatsby is just about wealthy Americans in the 1920s, focusing particularly on Jay Gatsby's obsession with Daisy Buchanan. Most of the behavior is immoral, particularly focusing on lying, adultery, and alcohol. But see, that's how these people are trying to escape themselves. They build up fantasies to pretend that they have exciting, happy lives full of everything they ever wanted. But they don't, really. Gatsby ends up dead in his own yard after having been deserted by the woman he wanted. Daisy lives with her abusive, adulterous husband Tom for the rest of forever, as far as we know. Tom lives with the knowledge that his wife doesn't really love him and having had his mistress brutally killed. Jordan just generally seems to be so empty and unsatisfied with life, for whatever reason. The only person in the whole book who seems to get away fairly unscathed is Nick Carraway, who leaves this life to go back to his rural, safe existence after having seen the misery to which the rest of the world sank.
Nobody knew where to look for happiness. Just to make sure we're clear on this; alcohol/drugs, sexual immorality, and constant parties are not going to make you happy. That's an important thing to be clear on for the rest of this post.
I don't know the backgrounds of the characters in this book. But I can guess that they are lonely, without having had any true friends in their lives. Probably their parents were distant. The frustrations, sadnesses, and disappointments of life can build up and hurt our hearts so, so badly and it is natural to turn to whatever seems most likely. If we don't have guidance and direction on truth, then we'll turn to hell in order to be comforted. Our heartaches reach for something to heal with, and if we do not have the truth the devil will take the opportunity to convince us to his ways.
I have so many people in my own life who this applies to.
It hurts so much to know that I have friends and even family members who are living in the misery depicted in The Great Gatsby when they could be healing and finding true joy.
I am not going to tell you in this post where to find that healing, because only you can know that for yourself. Just take time to listen. Find that voice within yourself and try your best. Don't listen to what the world tells you to do. Listen to your truth.
Some people find it strange that I love this book so much. My love isn't based on desire for sin, though. My love for this novel is founded on the fact that I'm not alone. Loneliness and sadness are common to humanity. Everybody is searching for their own truth. I can do a better job than the characters in this story. The Great Gatsby is a tale of decadence, yes; but that is because it is also a tale of the human condition.

I Won't Give Up

I think I finally decided my favorite song. Yes, that is an extremely difficult decision, and yes, I did have to think about it for many months, but I'm pretty confident that my favorite song right now is in fact I Won't Give Up, by Jason Mraz.

Read these lyrics:
"When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky,
Or a beautiful sunrise.
Well, there's so much they hold.
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are.
How old is your soul?

Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough.
I'm giving you all my love,
I'm still looking up.

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating,
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find.

'Cause even the stars they burn,
Some even fall to the earth.
We've got a lot to learn.
God knows we're worth it,
No, I won't give up.

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily.
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make.
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake.
And in the end, you're still my friend, at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn.
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in.
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am.

I won't give up on us,
Even if the skies get rough.
I'm giving you all my love,
I'm still looking up, I'm still looking up.

Well, I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us,
Even if the skies get rough.
I'm giving you all my love,
I'm still looking up."

Now, listen to it:


This whole song just feels so genuine. I am trying to think of words to describe it, but nothing I can think of to say would add anything that this song doesn't already say for itself. Everything about it speaks of a truth higher than mere reason. It's love in the purest form, without possessiveness or jealousy or bitterness despite hard times. There is hope, not just in the sense that maybe this relationship will work out. I mean the kind of hope that just believes that even if things don't turn out the way we want, life is good.
I am a little tired of ordinary, bubbly, sparkly, enthusiastic love songs. This feels more real than most pop music. It's beautiful in every way.

Education

As I am sure you all have noticed, the word 'school' does not evoke a positive image in the minds of most students. I do know youth who really enjoy school and are academic, but even they sometimes think of it as a burden. Schools are supposed to be institutions where people can go to learn and better themselves. Instead schools have largely become places for people to go learn how to fit in and follow instructions exactly in order to get a mark of acceptance. They go to be approved of by society. They go because that's what people do.
There are about seven billion people in this world, according to Google. That is a huge number. Each of those seven billion people has a soul. Each of them has something to contribute, something that only they can do. Each of them are intricately connected to each other, and the choices they make impact others in so many ways. Many of them are getting no education whatsoever, and many of those who do have the opportunity to get an education are completely wasting it.
I realize that there are many things wrong with our schooling system. Most schooling compartmentalizes subjects rather than allowing connections, discourages deviance from accepted views, and generally works against the flow of the human mind. An institution with one way to produce is better equipped for machinery than for humanity.
But we can get past these struggles. Schooling should nurture you soul and help you be a light in the world, but it isn't going to without some effort on your part. Your education is up to you. Only you can know yourself well enough to become truly great through the knowledge you gain. Don't be a passive student. Be an active learner.

Mathematics

I have heard many people state that math is completely useless past multiplication and division, because anything above that is not practical. In some ways, I agree. Most of our professional lives aren't going to use algebra or calculus very often. Some people will use advanced math all the time, but not everybody. However,the point of math isn't merely to go through our lives and use skills for solving practical problems. It is much, much higher and more supernal than that.

Math teaches us how to think. Math teaches us to understand eternal truths. Math challenges us to express ideas in different ways, that are uncomfortable at first. Numbers, variables, and shapes fitting together in logical ways really does express all of creation. As we learn to think through symbols we can learn to truly understand this universe. I once heard it said that mathematics is the language in which the Universe was written.Think about that for a little. Try to feel the wonder and divinity that the study of mathematics can bring to our lives.
I'm not very good at working problems and understanding concepts, myself. I am currently working in Algebra 1 and most of it's over my head. But I love it anyway. I want you to love it, too.

Women and the Priesthood

In case you didn't know, there is a movement among some members of my church to allow women to hold the priesthood. My church believes that priesthood power comes from God, and all organizations are run by the authority of the priesthood. Any man living righteously can receive the priesthood, but it is currently not given to women.
I've given this some serious consideration, and just thinking with my logical mind I can't think of any reason why women should not hold the priesthood. I know for a fact that men and women are equally important and loved by Heavenly Father, so it has been hard to reconcile his holding back this power from us. I have heard many explanations from people as to why this might be, but nothing makes sense when I think critically. Some people say that it is simply unnecessary because we have men to rely on, some people say that there are more righteous women than men so women don't need priesthood, and some people say that  'motherhood' is the counterpart to priesthood. None of these make sense to me, and a couple of them seem slightly ridiculous.
But, you know what? I don't support Ordain Women. Even though this whole issue seems unfair right now, everything will make sense eventually. My mortal eyes can't see nearly as far as Heavenly Father's, and I am okay with that. Someday I will understand. Until then I will just rely on the words of the prophets who have been sent to us to reveal the Lord's will, and be the best woman I possibly can be. Because I am proud of being a woman, with everything that entails.