Such Is Life

One of my friends in my Young Women group recently had her 18th birthday. My initial reaction when considering this was that being friends with Priests and Laurels really isn't wise, because soon they will leave and you will be left without them. Yes, this was silly, but I really considered it for a while until I realized that I am in fact a Laurel right now. Yep. I'm 16 years old and will be moving on pretty soon. So I have been thinking a lot about the nature of loving people. Most of what I have written here is addressed to youth, because I feel that adults have experienced so much of this already and know this. However, it should be useful for anybody. Here are some examples in which you love people and your heart breaks because of that:

1. Someday, you will meet somebody and your hearts will connect with each other. You'll kiss. You'll dance. You will talk about anything and everything, just to know each other and be with each other.You'll want to spend all your time together, because nobody else seems as important and life was given just to be with each other. Life will be passionate and beautiful.You'll be in love. You'll think that there is no way anything could ever get in the way, and you will plan on being together forever. And then this person will move way farther away than you can ever hope to follow. And then someday you will both probably find other people and have to admit that it just did not work out the way you had planned. But you will still remember him because there was such joy and such pain in having let him in your heart and then having him leave. There is no way you could forget that. You don't want to forget, and that makes it hurt even more. You know you have to forget, but why would you want to? This love opened you to so much passion and everything seemed so much more rosy knowing that you had each other, even when you did argue. He made life seem so much easier, and that is gone now. Sometime you will see clearly and realize that it was worth it.

2. You'll meet a friend who will seem to just click with you. Talking to each other will be easy, and you won't be afraid to actually have meaningful discussion. This friend will show you what 'kindred spirit' really means. If a thought pops up that maybe this won't last you will just laugh that thought away, because it seems impossible. But then you do drift apart. It isn't formal and you never talk about it, but sometimes you'll see each other at an event and not even speak to each other past civil greetings. You try not to think about it, but sometimes in the middle of the night when you can't sleep you will get to thinking about this friend  and quiet tears will stream down your face as you think about what you lost. It was a beautiful thing while it lasted, and you can't really blame the loss on anybody. People change and grow apart. It happens. While you needed this friend you had him, and now the need is gone so you can separate and try to remember that it was good.

3. Maybe you'll have a brother go on a mission. You are so, so proud of him for making this sacrifice and wouldn't have it any other way, but you miss him. Two years of being separated from this brother who was so close to you. Two years going without having him near to comfort you, protect you, take your side in every squabble, play with you, and just be there like he has for your whole life. Only letters and emails to substitute for his voice and his presence.There will be so many things that happen in your life as you emerge into adulthood. You might be gone to college, married, have a job, and be gone by the time he comes home. Nothing will be the same, because life doesn't pause just for a mission. The fact that he has dedicated himself to serving the Lord will help you as you go on though, because this love gives you something to be better through.

4. You'll have a dear friend who you have experienced your whole youth with and grown with in so many ways. You worked through new issues at the same time. You spent so much time with each other. You were there to support each other in everything and so excited to share everything together. And then she goes someplace you cannot follow, such as getting married. You are happy for her, of course. She's maturing and you admire her so much. But there's a heart ache as you realize that nothing can be quite the same anymore. She ran too fast and you couldn't keep up. She will be experiencing so much that you won't really be able to relate to anymore, although you will still love each other. Her friendship supported you through one of the hardest parts of your life, when you needed somebody who you knew would stay on the right track and expect you to do the same.

5. Your grandfather will die. This man who took care of you and loved you unconditionally for your whole life will suddenly be gone. You'll see his cold body and realize that never again in this life will he hold you and read to you. He changed your life by being such a caring, compassionate, talented man and now that's gone. But he has still changed your life for better, and you will remain transformed by having had him. You will miss him all the time, but you can smile through it.

Life will never stop giving you these heartaches. It's not going to happen, unless you completely isolate yourself and work on not loving anybody. But is that worth it? Do you want to lose the joy and beauty and magic of relationships just because of the sorrow that will come? I don't. I do not want to hide my heart away where it will never see the sun just because I'm afraid of the storm. Be open, please. Love everybody. Loving is a risk; that's the very nature of anything worth doing.