My Future

Last Monday my Personal Leadership class learned about dating and marriage. I have no idea why we learned about that, but it was fun anyway. As part of this we went over what we want in our spouse, marriage/family, and how we want to live.  I've kind of gone over this before on this blog, but something else that happened made me feel like I should again.
Anyway, I want a husband who I respect and who respects me. That really is all I need. In addition, though, I want to be able to change along with him, to grow and be able to develop instead of feeling pressure to always be exactly the same. I want somebody who is joyful. I want somebody to have adventures with. I want somebody who isn't perfect, but is working on it and healing. I want somebody who I can help.
I want my marriage and family to be based on service. I want us to trust each other deeply. I want us to laugh together. I want us to teach each other and learn together. I want us to all look towards Christ for direction in everything. I want us to have reason to love each other.
On a more personal level, I want to live my life based on values rather than things. I want to make time for what really matters, like the gospel, friends/family, and reflection. I want to have such inner peace that I can't possibly have outer conflict.
Just thinking about living this way makes me feel like I actually have somewhere to go. I have a purpose. I know what I want to do. I know what I want to be. I just have a lot of work to do in order to get there.

Stake Dance

Last Saturday I went to a church dance, like I do every month. I was able to think about quite a few things while I was out, and I think they're important enough to share.
First, how awesome it is when people are kind and friendly. My friend Brenden held doors for me and helped make me feel better about the general situation of having to wait out slow dances when guys wouldn't ask me. My friend Dallin and another wonderful person came and escorted me to their group when they saw me standing alone. Dallin also got me from the other room, just to dance with him because I was alone. Xavier stopped by to smile and say something, and it just made my whole evening. This group of girls I don't know stopped to introduce themselves and make sure I was okay, because my face sometimes looks really sad/lonely/angry (which is usually a problem at social events.) Danielle said hi. A few people smiled. Everybody who danced with me was just really kind. Ethan promised to teach me about his business class next time I see him. If any of you are reading this, thank you so much for being great.
Second, I learned about how focusing on self brings less happiness. Being at dances is always slightly uncomfortable, especially when most of my friends don't show up. Most of the time I was by myself, not really sure what I should do. I didn't want to go hang out with my friends for various reasons, and some of the attempts at being with strangers went very badly. So, when I thought about my own situation I felt pretty awful. When I made up stories and such in my head I was happier. When I took time to try to be kind to other people I was happiest.
I tried out helping other people after seeing this picture of Jesus in the hallway:

Jesus served people. I shouldn't be so selfish and avoid serving people just because it's a little uncomfortable sometimes. I wasn't able to do very much, but the little I did do hopefully helped them to feel a little happier.

The last thing I can remember really thinking about was how every person there was feeling some sort of pain. I don't know anything about most of them, but it's there. And we all can heal each other. It's our responsibility as brothers and sisters to try to help as much as we can.

There were a few miscellaneous things that I thought about, too. Like how awkward it was to be made to put on a tank top because my dress was too low cut, how to make conversation, and how to stop staring at people. I think I covered the main points, though.

Choose Wisely

 It's been said that we become the five people who we spend the most time with. I've been thinking about this for a while. I'm pretty content with who I spend my time with, as far as my family and friends go. But I'm not entirely sure about everything else I do.
Take music, for instance. Do I really want to be like Avenged Sevenfold? Or Taylor Swift? Elvis Presley? Not really, yet I spend so much of my time with them.
Or social media. I really, really don't want to be a collection of random, silly things from Pinterest or Facebook. I realized this a while ago and cut down on my use of them, but I still don't think they need to be as big a part of my life as they are.
Also, I don't spend nearly as long as I should with the great men and women of the ages. Pretty much I work on school, and then my brain's so tired that I don't do any more. But that isn't an excuse. I just need to try harder, because I want my life to be great. Not mediocre.

Anyway, it's just something to start thinking about. Maybe you need to change something, too. It's always worth examining. 

Conflict

I have an amazing friend. His name is Dallin, and he is one of the best people I know. Sometimes he says some of the wisest things I have ever heard, and this post is about one of those things that he told me a few days ago.
It was about revenge. I am going to give a summary here, but not explain it too much. He explained much better than I could.
Basically, when we get into conflicts we want to come out on top by tearing others down. That is exactly how Satan wants us to feel. He wants us to take satisfaction in tearing down and destroying others. That's pretty twisted.
When this happens, we need to step outside of ourselves and try to calm down so we can accurately see the situation. In the heat of the moment we don't usually see things clearly. We need to calm down and think about how both parties can be happy.

Now, this alone has been incredibly beneficial for me. Let's take it one step further, though.
Sometimes, Satan sends us lies about ourselves. He wants us to destroy and tear down ourselves.
Scary, huh? It is so much easier to think these things about ourselves, and even for some people to physically harm themselves. We have to put up with ourselves constantly, and we know all the darkest parts of our souls.
I earnestly entreat you not to listen to Satan. Be patient and kind with yourself. Don't hurt yourself. You are truly a beautiful creation of the Almighty, even if you do not feel like it. You deserve love. You really do.