As years pass, I grow more complacent. The fire in my heart dims, and my dreams of making a difference and leaving a mark fade. Rather, my dreams become more conventional. Go to college, work at the first available retail store, rent an apartment, marry the most convenient man. Have children someday, and raise them in a quiet American town.These things are lovely, and my ambitions include at least a couple. But don't most of us long for more? Most children live more enthusiastically and vibrantly than most adults I know.
A wise mentor once told me that "moderation in all things" is a terrible, terrible way to live. He memorably suggested moderate fidelity to a spouse. "My husband won't be hurt if I flirt with just a couple guys, or if I kiss my friend, it's not sex anyway..."
Do I want marriage? Yes, but only intentional, vibrant, all-in marriage where my husband and I can find freedom in the very depth of our commitment. I want a marriage that is, in itself, an act of rebellion towards a society which devalues family. As a wife, I want to give myself completely to a man whom I can not only love, but respect. He has to be a man I admire, and with whom I can bravely look forward to eternity.
Among the greatest desires of my heart is a home to keep and a family to raise. I have no idea what this home may look like or where it may be, but I do know it will be excellent. The Spirit of God will dwell and direct our paths as a family. My husband and I will prioritize our family in faith, rather than being "moderately invested" as parents, coming to Christ together. My home will be orderly and filled with the Spirit of God, as a 'holy place' in which to dwell.
I also have a desire for education. Development of character and ability is among the highest, most sacred callings and I choose to answer by steadfastly seeking after what is noble, true and praiseworthy. My soul yearns to minister to those who have less, by feeding the hungry and freeing the captive. I will help those in prison make a better, more joyful life. Mentoring youth has always called me. I want to see more of the world, to have adventures and to see the vastness of this one planet that God created. As a journalist, I will find and share truth, providing my countrymen with the information needed to make independent judgments and come together to improve this nation. In all of these pursuits I wish to become, passionate, empathetic, elegant, joyous and courageous. I wish to create beauty in the world through living my faith and serving others.
Because I wish to do this, I will. I will hold onto my dreams and make them a reality. Life is what you make of it; make something that matters.