I have a lot of work to do on some things, particularly actually trying new things that I am uncomfortable with. I really do want to, and I have an ideal to try to live. I just do not follow through with my ideal very well yet.
Last Thursday I had the chance to go start learning kickboxing with Xavier. I was thrilled to spend some time with him and was fairly excited to have an opportunity to learn kickboxing (because really, that just sounds awesome). I finally got there, and realized just how much I had been dreading actually learning this. See, not only had I never seen anybody kickboxing in my whole life (unless you count Miss Congeniality), but I'm not even a very athletic person. So I got there and tried for about two seconds. Yep. Pretty major fail right there. I realized that my being there was taking away from Xavier's practice time because he would have to teach me, and that combined with my being afraid of doing things wrong was pretty overwhelming.
I should have just done my best.
That is exactly what I should do every time.
I have already decided that I want my whole life to be dedicated to doing things that I find embarrassing and scary, because I want to really live and this is the best way to do that. I just need to improve my commitment to living it.
I have some plans for things to do. Today is a good day to get started.
We all have shortcomings in this area. Especially when we worry about how others will perceive us or our failures. And who wants to look stupid? But I guarantee you, if you do this you will feel more fulfilled and find happiness in some things you never thought you'd enjoy. I wish you luck and look forward to reading about it! :)
ReplyDeleteDitto to what Nichole said. Also, if Xavier minded taking the time to teach you, I doubt he would have agreed to do it in the first place. You got this! Life, kickboxing, or whatever else you might decide to push through. :D
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sister Gaertner and Sister Goodwin. :D
ReplyDeleteAnd Sister Goodwin, he didn't mind because he really is a nice person but I still would rather not inconvenience him.